Who knew Hello Kitty! was a headbanger at heart? Who knew a cute, Japanese pop culture idol snaps necks and cashes checks? Years of yakuza trained reflexes, coupled with a zesty desire to shed a completely wholesome image to become so much more killy have led to this point. No longer your daughter’s kawaii, Hello Kitty! has become the soul sucking, demon worshipping, animated and stuffed version of Ozzy Osbourne if he were a cat. It’s so much better than CATS.
Of course I’m referring to the movie based off of Weber’s long running stage show. You know, the one where a bunch of amalgamized cat humans ran around with absolutely no buttholes whatsoever. Weird.
But this…this I can get behind…like a proctologist with sausage fingers. You remember those starter instruments gifted to you, or perhaps by you, that sported the likeness of some beloved children’s character. As if seeing Bert & Ernie on your youth ukulele would inspire you to shred, and not crap your pants. Maybe you did a bit of both. Ain’t nothing like channeling the dead spirit of Gigi Allen in your playroom. Be real here…we’re all scum lovers as children. It’s not a well kept secret. Your parents, and if you are parents, know that children eat boogers, draw in poop, and will go to the bathroom anywhere. Regardless of all that…it’s cool to see well seasoned musicians wail on those types of instruments.
You’re welcome.
Maximus R.
